Hello friends, no one can feel the child like a mother, so we decided to tell you that story with the child’s mother’s words. So keep up with us. Friday, June 14 did not that go as planned? I started the day with a pedicure with the future bride, her best friend Megan, her mother Cathy, and her bridesmaids.
We had a nice lunch, did a few errands, and then went home to prepare for the rehearsal. I started spotting on Tuesday. It was always light Brown, a common pregnant occurrence. I never felt any pain. On Friday, the spotting started to turn pink.
When I returned home to get my camera gear for the rehearsal. I decided to call my midwife to ask her opinion on the spotting. I knew I’d be on my feet for 12 hours. The next day. She opted to take me to the Er mainly for my own peace of mind.
I had a complete placenta Previa with Michaela, so we were both apprehensive. I called Josh, who had just arrived at the park with the girls and he took them home. We left floor around 03:00 p.m. And drove 45 minutes to a suggested hospital in Cocomo. We contacted our parents to warn them.
We checked into the Er. The nurse clearly wanted me to be over 20 weeks. Those under 20 weeks stay in the Er, otherwise they go to the op 19 days, three weeks. Several pregnant women over 20 weeks arrived and went as. We sat in the waiting area and I sat waiting.
We were taken back around five and found a heartbeat right away. After I changed. I think it was around 160. Hearing the heartbeat put me a piece and I waited for the doctor. Finally a PA or an MP showed up and stated the doctor would return to do a vaginal exam and sent me for ultrasound.
Then we sat and waited. He departed after saying he wasn’t doing a vaginal exam and I’d be headed ultrasound. Josh had to depart at 530 to run the rehearsal because he was officiating the wedding the next day. We were both delighted about the ultrasound and hoping to find out what we were having. When we arrived home on Wednesday, we had our 20 week ultrasound at 06:00 p.m..
A new nurse came in, gave me three glasses of water and left. I turned on House Hunters on TV. They’d come fetch me for my ultrasound, so I thought I wouldn’t finish the 30 minutes episode. A few minutes after six, I began to feel some pain. I was in labor before the conclusion of the half hour show.
I had no doubt I’d been there before. The discomfort was too strong to sit in bed. My nurse didn’t show up after ten minutes. I called again and she arrived. The agony and emotions were causing me to cry.
I wasn’t mentally prepared for labor and fought it with everything I had. I dreaded this labor. When she eventually arrived, she denied that I’d gone into labor and she departed. I’m not sure how long she was gone, but he stated he’d raised the ultrasound and departed. I felt pushed to the back of the Er and left alone.
No aid, no pity, no cell reception meant I couldn’t call my mom. I had a wireless signal and could SMS Josh, but I didn’t want to bother him because he had a rehearsal to go through. Josh left the Church, which was about 20 minutes distant, at 07:00 p.m. Around the same time I went to ultrasound. The ultrasound technician was the first person who made me feel valued and cared about.
The others weren’t harsh, but they didn’t waste any time on me. She found my heartbeat right away, which again was reassuring. She couldn’t say anything else. She did her ultrasound quickly and then got another lady to sit with me. When she went to see the radiologist.
We didn’t chat, but knowing someone else was there helped. When I went to the bathroom to clean up after the ultrasound, I was covered in blood and utterly disoriented. A few minutes later, Josh came. They had someone waiting for him to bring him to me. The ultrasound tech found me, so when we returned to the Er room, I stepped in and the technician turned to Josh and said, I’m sorry.
I don’t want her to see me weep, but I’ll be praying for you, and she hugged him and left the room. I arrived back to my room around 720. There was no gap between contractions now. They were so intense that as one ended, another began. I’ve been through labor and grew up hearing about it from my mother and Ellen Deeners.
I’ve been in a few birds for my photography, so I knew I was at the finish. I wasn’t ready to give up yet, but I realized I was losing my baby. Your fetus is still viable, remarked the PA or whatever she was. I wanted to slap her. She was more empathetic than the doctor I never saw.
They said they’d take me upstairs for a cervical surlage, which gave me hope. Around 08:00 p.m. I was finally transported upstairs to OB. I was in so much pain I couldn’t hear anything. Anyone who knows me knows I loathe needles and often pass out.
Getting an IV in took three attempts and a lot of blood on my arms. I didn’t care. The doctor checked me, sat beside me on the bed, and told me we were having our kid. It’s the first time he was called. A baby started sobbing and begging if there was any other way.
So courteous and upset when the Er told me they were going to do a surge. A surcharge cannot be performed when in active labor, which I was at the time. Me and my water were fully dilated. There was no other choice. She was very kind and apologized repeatedly.
I lost count of how many individuals were in our room torturing me, but I was never alone and always accompanied. I took the painkiller supplied to me and the pain began to subside. My contractions were still intense, but I could relax between them. Josh left the room to tell my parents and sisters in Outer Banks, North Carolina, and his parents in PA. Our friends Kip and Kathy came from the rehearsal to be with us.
On the way back from her wedding, Meghan stopped over to see how we were doing. I needed somebody to talk to. When my water broke, Walter was breached, so we waited for my water to break naturally and let nature take its course. Because I wasn’t feeling contractions. After my water broke, I had to push multiple times to get his small body out.
He was delivered at 09:42 p.m. And handed to me right away. I was crying, yet he was perfect. He was fully formed and complete. I could see a small heartbeat.
We both embraced him and grieved over our perfect tiny boy. The nurses and doctor left us alone with him. My IV alarm kept going off, so my nurse had to keep coming in to check on me, but she was always courteous and sorry. Cathy and Rachel returned to the hospital with the goods I needed in Walter. Thanks to Rachel’s help, Cathy and Meghan didn’t have to worry about having two preschoolers on top of everything else.
The placenta didn’t release on its own, so I was transported to the or between midnight and one, two females came to be with me and stayed with me the entire time. They prayed with me right away, which was fantastic. The DNC did well and I was soon back in my room, snoring from the drugs. I cannot praise the doctor and the nurses enough. They never said fetus.
They prayed with me, cried with me, and supported me. Even in my anguish, I felt loved by all of them. They treated us like royalty. They contacted the local funeral home and offered to handle all the paperwork and phone calls so we could return them to PA. A friendly gentleman from the funeral home came to chat to us about our options.
We chose cremation. In the end, it was the best and easiest option. My doctor went out of his way to address all the inquiries. She even called my midwife and offered me her number in case my mother and OB nurse had questions. She didn’t have to do.
That, which I liked. Many books and artifacts were left behind at the hospital. They made sure the daughters had keepsakes for their siblings. We received a great card with notes from all the nurses and doctors who cared for me during our stay, but the OB area was wonderful, so we held and held our son. In fact, he left our room while I had the DNC and he returned until the funeral home arrived.
I’m saddened by the stories of parents who are denied access to their children. That would be disastrous. I cradled him well his heartbeat. I counted his toes and kissed his small head. I shall always treasure my memories of him.
Rachel took our daughters to the hospital the next day. I had no question. I needed to bring the girls in to see their brother Mikayla’s overjoyed about the baby and wants a brother. She kept asking Rachel and her Papa about the baby. As he took them to our room, she continued asking about the baby if we could take him home.
But Emma didn’t understand when I told her that Jesus took their baby to heaven with him. She’s recovered quickly and only mentions our baby’s death in passing. But Mikaela is a unique case. She’s sobbed uncontrollably. She keeps asking questions and we have to tell her.
We don’t know. Josh did the ceremony anyway. I would have done the photos if I could. Aside from everything else, not keeping a pledge was difficult for me. It upsets me because I had no control and they’re not furious with me.
We still don’t know why or how. My midwife directly spoke with my Indiana OB doctor. We’ll acquire all documents and reports as they finished dictations and pathology reports. It could have been a cervix issue, possibly from Emma’s birth trauma. It might be pre term labor or anything else.
And we may never know if we ever become pregnant again. We’ll take extra care. That’s another unknown. We went to the doctor and Frederick numerous times to conceive Walter so much to consider. I’m delighted Joshua went to our car and retrieved my camera.
I didn’t want images at first, but now they’re all I have. I’m still amazed at how many people liked and shared his images. His little existence has touched more lives than I could have dreamed. People from all across the country have contacted me, either grieving or inspired by a story several people have told me. They used his images to reach out to a hurting mother considering abortion.
Our inability to perceive the child within does not equate to a cell. Bob prenatally. Walter was perfect and active. He could have lived for a few more weeks if he had. The Lord took him home for a reason I can’t fathom.
I’ll never know why. But knowing he’s safe and coming back is comforting. For now, he’s with his heavenly father, who loves him infinitely more than I could ever love him.