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Mom gives birth then the doctor makes a shocking discovery!

Mom gives birth then the doctor makes a shocking discovery. I found out about my second daughter, Ivy limb differences. At 19 weeks my husband was away for work, and so my mother and sister came with me to my ultrasound appointment to help Corral my toddler and get a glimpse of the baby.

I remember that the ultrasound took forever, but the tech told me that the baby’s legs were crossed and it was a difficult position to determine the gender. I thought nothing of it.

We all commented on her cute little toes and got pictures printed, and we didn’t even notice that there was no mention of her hands the next day. I had an appointment with my Midwife about an hour before my appointment. I got a call from her.

She told me there was significant findings on the ultrasound. She said I should bring my husband with me and that I should find someone to watch my two-year-old daughter immediately.

My heart dropped into my stomach and the tears started falling. Something was terribly wrong. I just felt it: I called my mom, as my husband was still out of town and she dropped everything to bring me to that appointment from the moment my Midwife called me until we arrived at her office. I don’t think I stopped crying. I was terrified.

I was going to lose this baby, as my mom and I sat in the parking lot of my midwife’s office preparing to go in my mom looked at me and said vaness whatever it is, we’ll get through it. I just want to keep my baby. I just want to keep her I whispered when we walked into the waiting room. My dad was there waiting for us. My mom had called him and asked him to come too.

I was grateful for the support. I don’t remember if any words were said: while we were waiting, I just remember being unable to stop crying, sometimes silent, tears, sometimes not, but they never stopped. When we finally sat down with my Midwife, she went over the scan. First was the possibility of a cleft lip upon hearing this my heart lifted, a little bit I began to feel Hope. Was that all just something small, something cosmetic, was she actually going to be okay?

In that moment I told myself that maybe some people would care about a few minor things like a cleft lip, but I wouldn’t as long as my baby was healthy, but there was more next one femur was curved and shorter than the other okay harder news to Take but again I felt some hope that maybe that was all my ultimate fear. After all, was losing her. I was worried that the pregnancy wasn’t viable, that there was something she wouldn’t be able to survive, that I would give birth and lose her days hours or minutes after meeting her. Next. Some concerns were her heart.

The fear came rushing back, and this was a major organ more along the lines of what I’d been worried about was wrong, something big something life-threatening something terminal, but still a heart issue. There are machines and technology that can help a heartbeat that can fix a heart. Aren’T there third missing both forearms and hands, this felt like a punch to the gut it stole my breath. It killed me over and the sobs tore out of me and visions of my perfect little baby shattered No Hands I’d never heard of this. It wasn’t on my radar, it had never crossed my mind, never been a fleeting fear or worry.

I just assumed that she had all Limbs and all the pieces were there. I was devastated. I didn’t know if this was something I could handle. I didn’t know if things would be okay, I do so remember in the quiet aftermath. As we sat in that office, my dad’s saying to me she’s going to be a blessing to our family.

I think our family needs someone like her she’s going to teach us. So much it’s hard to write this to relive these emotions, because I feel guilt for the fears I had for the hopelessness I felt, but I’m getting ahead of myself and those feelings were a vital part of how I spent the next few months. Processing the information and I truly grieved denial guilt, anger sadness. I experienced them all after the appointment as I stood in the parking lot with my parents. My dad offered to go pick up my husband from out of town and bring him home lucky for us.

My husband works for my dad, so getting a few days off was no problem, nor was bringing him home early from a job. I waited until my dad was minutes away from my husband’s job site before finally making that difficult call. I had no idea how to tell my husband about the ultrasound findings and I hated that I had to do it over the phone. While he was three hours away, I think it was the hardest phone call of my life. I don’t remember much about that phone conversation except telling him that she was missing both forearms and hands, and I remember the note of disbelief in his voice when he said what no hands.

I then told him that my dad was minutes away from picking him up and bringing him home. I cried that entire day processing emotions that I couldn’t identify and didn’t know how to deal with. I spent the entire night researching prosthetics for babies and children. Looking at videos of other child amputees and I began to feel a shred of hope – we got referred to Vancouver Children’s Hospital right away and an appointment was set up for the very next day, where we’d have a detailed hour-long ultrasound and meet with perinatologists medical geneticists And genetic counselors, I thought that meant. We were getting answers that day, that the doctors could tell me why this happened, what caused it and what the next step was.

But the appointments were severely disappointing in that regard and if anything, the doctors created more questions for us than answers and tainted that whole experience with so much negativity. I wish with all my heart that appointment had gone differently, that someone would have told us. It would be okay that someone had told us how beautiful and perfect our little girl would be that she would smile and giggle and live a life filled with so much love. I wish I knew then what I know now I wish I could take away all the worry, pain, fear and heartbreak. I felt.

Instead we got news of Doom. All hope was taken away. I felt like the doctors were telling me that it was over, that her life wasn’t viable and that we had lost all hope of bringing home a baby. I was shocked when the doctor suggested we terminate that had never crossed my mind, but here they were offering it. When my husband and I started to express that we wanted to keep her.

The medical geneticist said briskly and brutally, but think about her quality of life. She’S going to have no hands, I remember asking about the war amps or Prosthetics. Looking for any sort of alternate solution, the geneticist was quick to dismiss those options. She knew nothing about the war amps and she said Prosthetics would never be an option because she was missing both hands. I didn’t understand why I had brought a page full of questions with me and none of them were answered.

Instead, I filled the back side of my paper with even more questions. They gave us a moment alone to talk about our options and I remember feeling so much doubt I’ve always been pro-choice, but I knew I could never personally have an abortion, but in that moment I felt down the doctors had made me feel guilty for wanting to Keep my baby had made me doubt all my abilities as a mother to care for and nurture my baby. What kind of life would I be giving her?

Would she really have no quality of life, but, as we had a moment of privacy, I remember looking at my husband having so many questions and no answers, but he’s so firmly passionately and emphatically said to me I’ll do whatever I have to do to take care Of her I’ll build her anything, I want her I’ll do whatever it takes I’ll, take care of her for the rest of her life, and I knew in that moment he was right. She was ours to love and protect, and we did already love her and I knew without a doubt that, with my husband by my side, we could do this.

I had no idea what it would look like, but I knew this wasn’t the end. We declined in amniocentesis and there was a risk of miscarriage and we knew we wanted to keep her and didn’t want to add any further risks to my pregnancy. I remember leaving the hospital that day and as we neared the exit, I stopped and started sobbing. I remember hugging my husband and asking him why this was happening to us, but as the final weeks and months of my pregnancy passed, I stopped asking myself that I was still paralyzed with fear and worry for the remainder of my pregnancy. But my perspective began to shift things started to make more sense, they started to fit.

It felt right. I felt like the universe chose me out of millions of mothers to be Ivy’s mom. I even think she picked me herself. She saw me and said yes, I want her. I want her to be my mommy.

The universe knew I would love her that I would fight for her advocate for her and be everything she needed from a mother. I felt like my entire life had led up to this, had prepared me for this to be Ivy’s mom. Maybe that’s why I’m such an empath, maybe Ivy will need a mom who is empathetic, compassionate and loving. Maybe that’s why I’ve advocated for others in the past. It was all practice for Ivy, but then things shifted again and instead of thinking that Ivy needed me, I started to realize that I’m the one who needs her.

She saw me and said yes, she needs me. She needs me to be her daughter. It’S not Ivy who needs me. I need her because she completes me completes my family in ways. I never realized she’s a balm to my soul, a Sav to past wounds.

Ivy will teach me things. I didn’t think I needed to know, or maybe didn’t want to know, Ivy surprised us all by coming four weeks early. She just couldn’t wait to join the world, or maybe she knew that I needed her here needed to be reassured that she was going to be. Okay, safe in my arms at last the moment I birthed her and held her in my arms, I felt so much peace since coming home. Ivy has grown Leaps and Bounds and met all of her Milestones on time.

So far I didn’t want her exposed, but now I just want her to feel loved and supported, and I know that a big part of that will come from this online community. I want Ivy to know she has an army behind her and I also want to help normalize her differences, so the world can become a more inclusive place. All I know is that, at the end of the day, this story isn’t about me.

It’s all about her. It’S all about her and she is absolutely unequivocally undeniably perfect, thanks for reading. See soon.

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