Quiz: Should You Become an Animal Experimenter?

Career crisis? PETA can help you narrow down your options. Skip the aptitude tests and take this test to see if you should become an animal experimenter.

1. Do you like to hinder progress in medicine or science?

If you still hold the belief that experimentation in other animals can lead to cures for disease in humans – even if 95% of new drugs that “pass” animal trials do not work or even cause harm in human clinical trials – then becoming an animal experimenter might be for you.

The statistics for specific disease areas are even worse. Of the approximately 100 HIV vaccines successfully tested in animals, none have shown sufficient human protection against the virus in clinical trials. Of the 1,000 stroke treatments tested in animals, none have shown clinical benefit in humans. The failure rate for new Alzheimer’s drugs that have successfully passed human trials is a whopping 99.6%. Cancer? 96.6%.

As an animal experimenter, you have a chance to thwart any life-saving scientific discovery. Instead of studying human-related research such as brain organelles, organs on microcircuits, and advanced computer modeling techniques, you will apply brutal, archaic methods that don’t work. Who needs progress at all?