You’ll likely experience the death of at least one grandparent in your lifetime and when you do it will cause intense pain and heartache although your grief will ultimately be unique to you and to the relationship you had with your grandparent in the following article we’ll discuss a few challenges common to grieving the death of a grandparent the death of any family member can have
An impact on the family as a whole many members of your family often feel a grandparent’s death very deeply depending on the circumstances you may feel as though you have to prioritize the needs of others in your family before attending to your own grief and well-being many grandchildren have very close relationships with their grandparents and rely on them for a number of their social emotional and physical needs
When a close grandparent dies the grandchild often feels like they’ve lost someone akin to a parent which is intensely painful and can cause many difficult secondary losses after the death of a loved one people often long for others to recognize and acknowledge their pain the person who has died is important and loved so when someone minimizes your loss it feels like they’re undermining the person’s significance and taking away your right
To feel pain people minimize losses for a handful of reasons some may assume your loss isn’t significant based on their belief that it’s the expected natural order for grandparents to die first some may make judgment based on their subjective experience that grandparents are distant non-nuclear relatives while some may realize how much pain you’re in but offer the wrong words of comfort for example maybe you’ve heard this one
Losing a child goes against the natural of order things we simply are not meant to outlive our children i think it depends on the individual the relationship and the nature of the death i don’t believe that grief is a thing to be ranked in general death is such an abstract painful confusing experience for the funds left behind to try and comprehend it’s very difficult to measure the level of grief that one experiences measuring
Solely on the loss of life the death of a child would be worse and they had not lived a full life however that does not necessarily translate in measurable terms of grief for the ones left behind when you have a child you expect them to live the rest of your life you aren’t expecting them to die before you in your mind you’re supposed to die before them unfortunately that’s not always guaranteed and life goes down an unexpected path
Your thoughts weren’t correct and you’re the one who raised the child and been there with them for most of their life you watch them grow whenever something is unexpected in a bad way it hurts when you lose a child it’s like someone knocked all air out of you and you struggle every day to get that breath back you prepare yourself in a sense to bury your parents but you never prepare to lose a child it’s not the way life is
Supposed to work that’s not the circle of life when you have kids you never even want to think of having to bury them a parent should never have to go through that i’ve seen women have to bury a child even if that child is an adult it’s still a very hard thing to experience in life if a child is young and loses a parent that’s equally as hard suddenly your life becomes unsecure
As a child your parents are everything to you the world suddenly becomes a lonely scary place as an adult losing a parent it hurts but as we grow older we’re aware our parents aren’t always going to be there it softens the blow slightly a two-year-old boy surprised everyone when he suddenly sat up in his coffin and asked for a glass of water before lying back down again lifeless calvin santos was pronounced dead at 7
40 pm on friday when he stopped breathing due to complications from pneumonia he’d received treatment at aberlardo’s santos hospital in bellum northern brazil his body was brought over to his grieving family in an airtight bodybag the cause of his death was due to cardiac respiratory arrest whereby his lungs were unable to function properly his family then brought calvin’s dead body home and they held a wake through
The night for him with his body laid in an open coffin however just an hour before his funeral was about to take place the following day calvin’s aunt noticed that the body appeared to be moving the boy suddenly sat up in his coffin and said daddy can i have some water according to his father antonio santos he could not believe what he saw before his eyes during the wake i held him and said son
Come back to daddy a few hours later my son sat up in the coffin everyone started to scream we couldn’t believe our eyes then we thought a miracle had taken place and our boy had come back to life after the incident the entire family had risen hope that calvin was alive they tried to wake him up but to no avail then calvin just laid back down the way he was we couldn’t wake him he was dead again said antonio
The family quickly brought calvin back to the hospital to be re-examined but the doctors claimed that he was no longer alive antonio said they assured me that he really was dead and gave me no explanation for what we had just seen and heard devastated by the news the family delayed calvin’s funeral in the hope of seeing him waking up again but sadly their weight was fruitless the boy was
Then buried at 5 pm that day in a local cemetery nevertheless antonio filed a police report later as he believed that the medical officers may have misdiagnosed him as dead during their first examination 15 minutes after attempting resuscitation on kelvin the doctors came to me and informed me that my boy had died and they gave me his body they may not have conducted a more
Thorough examination on him a dead person can never be alive again and speak all the sudden i’m determined to find out the truth but the investigation by the police revealed that he was already in a critical condition when he was admitted to the hospital said antonio convinced that his son was a victim of medical malpractice mr santos has now registered a complaint with the police who’ve launched an investigation
He said 15 minutes after rushing him away for resuscitation they came and told me he was dead and handed me his body perhaps they didn’t examine him properly dead people don’t just wake up and talk i’m determined to find out the truth the local state department today confirmed the boy had been admitted to hospital in a critical condition and was declared dead after suffering cardiac respiratory failure
As a parent you prepare for the day your kid leaves or the event of your death you’ve focused only on if they’re alive and have no backup for other possibility and why should you under normal circumstances the majority make it to adulthood before any serious risk to life so when you lose a child either by theft or by death it’s an unplanned loss of a part of you fully a part of you your dna some of your shared memories and the
Target of so much hard work to keep them happy healthy and you guessed it alive so on top of the grief of unexpected loss a person gets poisoned with this loss as a failure and can wreak havoc on your self-esteem affecting your daily tasks and interests and even costing you all your money as you sort it out losing a parent as a kid you begin to just accept it was bound to happen eventually start becoming independent knowing wherever you end up other caretakers
Could also die and leave you to fend for yourself in the age of science and technology where most events and phenomenon can be explained this particular case seemed to baffle most physicians there seems to be no logical explanation to what happened to kelvin perhaps antonio was right when he said that the doctors could have misdiagnosed the boy’s condition or maybe it really was a miracle
However this man feels the same pain twice this is something people love to say about children i guess because it’s often true it’s not that helpful in grief though because we remind a person’s age does nothing to ease the pain caused by their absence there’s never a point where you sit back and say i think we’ve spent enough time together i learned that there is no death of the
Spirit i learned that the holy spirit is real and can speak to me directly i do not need anyone to intercede for me and tell me what god wants god can do that all by himself about losing and grieving and some courage i believe that the only way to cope and recover is to respect your feelings and to share your feelings when family and friends get sick of your tears fears and all of that find a group of others who
Have gone through the same thing and share with them there weren’t any such groups in my area at the time but such groups have sprung up everywhere and even a group shares can help write about what happened and about how you feel it was some time before i could do this but i was taking a writing class and one assignment was to write about someone whom you loved who had died god
It was painful and i wept and wept as i typed it i tried to write in an objective manner and it sounded so cold when i shared it with the group in the class they suggested i explain it more and i wept and wept and wrote and wrote the thing is if you repeat the story out loud or in writing enough times you can begin to put it out of your heart and on paper or somehow objectify the story so that it becomes a story that’s out there
Not clogging up your heart and soul and stomach and head and thoughts some people plan to tree and watch it grow some people take up a new interest a hobby but something has to change you simply cannot go on as if nothing has happened this is life death is a part of life we never think it’s fair and it isn’t but we are not the only ones who have suffered suffer and will suffer we go through these experience and hope that they’ll make us better human beings
People who have empathy for the losses and suffering of others people who reach out to others and try to help this brave father taught us an important lesson sometimes he refused the death of his son he brought him back to life many people circulated his story and considered him to have brought his child back to life by refusing his death open your heart to the love that fills the air and be determined that your love you show to others will be a living
Testament to the love you had have and will always have for your child if something similar happened to your child would you act.
